Zombie Apocalypse

"Good morning, Evan! Happy Leap Day!"

"What?"

"You know, Leap Day. It's the extra day we get every 4 years because it takes 365 and 1/4 days to go around the Sun so our calendar makers decided to save that 1/4 day and put it all together on an EXTRA day, every 4 years. So we have 366 days this year!"

blank stare

"Don't you remember the field trip to the planetarium? The discussions we've had? HELLO?!?"

"Well, what would happen if we didn't use the extra 1/4 day?"

"We'd have snow in June and a really hot Christmas because the seasons would keep inching away from where we want them."

even blanker stare

"...And zombies would take over the Earth." (I am not above using sarcasm in educating my children)

pause

"Why would zombies take over the Earth? How would that happen?"

Holy cow. I think he needs some coffee this morning.

The Chronic

Evan and I have been reading the Chronicles of Narnia these past few months. It's pretty impressive for him considering how many freaking RUN ON SENTENCES C.S. Lewis likes to use in every single paragraph. It can be a lot to digest for a 9 year old. That said, I have been reduced to singing this song Every. Single. Day. for the past 2 months...

Ghetto Spelling

"Mommy, how do you spell 'eyeballs'??" Evan asked me as he filled in the MadLibs "plural noun" line.

"Break it down, hon. How do you spell 'eye'?"

"E. Y. E. ??"

"Yep. Now how do you spell 'balls'?"

(from the office, before Evan can respond, Patrick exhibits reason number 1,784 why he is NOT the teaching parent...)

"N.U.T.S. !"



Nothing but class over here, folks. Straight up, hardcore, CLASS.

Homeschooling Physics on a Budget 101

"Ok, guys. Listen closely... That sound you heard when the champagne cork popped out? That was the pressure from the fermented alcohol that your mother is going to ingest!! What do you think causes it?"

(Dang, I look ragged...)

See? Every thing is a possible learning tool. Just a little creativity and a glass or two of wine goes a long way...

Oh Crap

Corinne (age 3 years, 10 months), as she colors the shapes in her preschool book today:

"Circle, circle, triangle. Square, square, rectangle. Hey Mommy? Where's the Crapezoids?"

The child made me pee. Just a bit.