Friday, May 8, 2009

Old and festering wounds never really go away...

Through a torrent of tears, he spilled the truth.


A bully. One who tripped and laughed at my sensitive middle son. Evan claims it was a regular occurrence. One that happened on the playground. The reason that recess wasn't always a fun topic when I'd ask him how his day had gone.

"That's why I wanted to be homeschooled so bad! I hated that bully! He made me feel so sad inside!"

Tears ran down both of our cheeks.

We talked. I consoled. He released several months' worth of sadness and pent-up emotion. I listened and stroked his sweaty forehead while suffering my own torment. Why didn't he just come out and say something earlier? Because this child doesn't work that way. My baby was in anguish for God only knows how long (he even went so far as to talk about a different boy who picked on him in kindergarten) and I couldn't find the right strings to pull to help him open up.

Once he spills though? It's a lengthy episode. Many problems will be released at once, which wipes us both out.

I am so glad he opened up. I am so glad he is able to make friends in a situation where the adults are able to listen to him. The playground is a fun place for most, but brutal for those who are targeted...

Suddenly, the lights are switched on and many questions about Evan are easier to decipher...


  1. Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that there was a bully! How miserable.
    I'm glad he finally let it all out :)

  2. I'm so sorry to hear he was bullied. My oldest son was bullied, too. I suspect that's a big reason he loves being homeschooled so much...the only bully is his little brother, who wouldn't DARE bully him for fear of being bullied back. lol

    It's good that he got it out, too, even if it is a few years in the making. It's easier to heal from that hurt when it's out in the open.

  3. Arghh. It's good you got the truth.
    Although I suspected something, it took me four months after we removed him from school to find out my son's "friends" (and I wish teachers wouldn't call classmates "friends", it kinda muddies the waters) were taking his backpack and running with it. Or deliberately jostling him when he was lining up for the school bus. The kind of stuff that as a parent I couldn't have complained about anyway, because I wouldn't have been taken seriously.

    It must feel good that Evan is trusting you with this. I hope that you can both move forward.

  4. It took my daughter 8 months to tell me about a bullying incident that happened in summer camp. This bummed me out so much, for all the reasons you know. Everywhere I turn, I am hearing about bullying---I'm so glad Evan was able to get this off his chest. And that you were there to listen.

  5. Bullies are not always in the playground. My first grade classroom had a bully. She wore a black habit that brushed against the desks and knees of young pupils trembling with fear they’ll be next to be hauled off to the cloak room and paddled. Or the playground bully (and yes, all these years later, I do remember his name) who threw stones at me as he followed me home. They’re everywhere. It’s good that Evan has someone to talk to about his experience and knows that he can feel better about bringing up the issue if it happens again…evermore. Hopefully, the scenario will take a place in the archives of his memory that won’t be revisited anytime someone mentions the word bully.

    My question is: where was the playground supervisor?